Winter Olympic hopeful!

After trying out the bobsleigh track at Konigsee and having previously done the shooting element of biathlon I thought it was time to try out another winter sport. So, after not having been on an artificial ski slope for over 20 years and not having been on real snow since I was in school, which was slightly longer than 20 years, I decided to have a go at cross country skiing. This is a sport in itself but also forms the ski element of one of my favourite spectator sports which is biathlon.

I found the number for a local instructor and agreed to meet him (Rok) at the public cross country course in Bohinjska Bistrica in the early afternoon for a one hour lesson (20 Euros). For the price I got an hour of instruction plus use of the poles and skis, which proved handy as well as problematic. The only thing I had to do was get some cross country ski boots and these I managed to hire for 3 Euros for the afternoon.

How to let someone else
put your skis on for you

On arriving at the public course I noticed that there was a group of school kids on a trip and I was a little dubious about them watching me "perform" but fortunately they left just before Rok arrived.



Warm-up with neck rolls

First off was putting the skis on, now this sounds simple enough but you have to "clip" your boots in at the front and not the back whilst standing on a ski that wasn't even as wide as my foot.

Now it was time for the warm-up which involved waving my arms around and doing "neck rolls". It was now time for the skiing!

Listening very carefully as the
instructor shall say this only once

I started off in the classic style tracks, which are basically tram tracks only a lot closer together. This meant pushing with the poles and "bending ze knees" whilst keeping your weight forward. Needless to say it was not long before I fell over (7 minutes into the lesson and 5.5 of those were putting on the skis and doing the warm-up!). I got a bit better and then we went back to the start where Rok said to put the poles down and we would now do freestyle skiing without poles. This meant putting the skis in a V-shape and pushing the ski on one leg whilst gliding with the other ski/leg. This was more tricky than I thought as normally when you start to slip on snow/ice you try and steady yourself, where here you had to let the slide happen. Needless to say I wasn't great although I did manage to do a couple of metres in one go before falling over.

Bend ze knees, well slightly!

I then tried doing freestyle skiing with poles as well but this only made me have to concentrate on more than one thing at a time and being a bloke this was not easy to do, if not nearly impossible. Thus more falling over ensued. By this time Gemma was getting concerned for my knee but I was determined to carry on.

I think Rok was getting a bit miffed by now with my ineptitude but he was being paid to watch me make an arse of myself, so he was getting good value for money. He asked if I wanted to try doing a "lap" of the course to which I agreed but only if I could use the classic tracks rather than doing freestyle skiing to which he agreed, but I think that was only because he didn't want to still be out there at 8pm that evening with my freestyling "skills".

Whoops, there go my
Winter Olympic dreams!

Let's just say that this lap was not my finest hour, nor could it ever be considered a "lap of honour" and trying to "climb up" the small slopes generally ended with me going backwards down the slopes rather than "climbing" them. However, I got there in the end with my skis still on and then it was the fun part which involved going downhill. Rok tried to get me to snow plough down but I wasn't having any of that as I wanted to experience going "fast" down the classic style tracks which I did with great skill until it came to the bend whereby my skis decided to go straight ahead instead of turning. Hence another fall!!

All in all it was fun to try it out and I have a more profound respect for the people who do cross country skiing and biathlon at all levels as travelling on skis that are so narrow and light whilst going uphill and then downhill at great speeds takes a lot of skill, fitness and courage.

In view of the above, it is with regret that I will be withdrawing my application to be a competitor for the British Winter Olympic team in Sochi 2014.